Mind and memories: Fickle friends

Our mind is quite the fickle thing. It makes our memories so perceptive and subjective. How and what we remember of a day or moment will always be different from what our companion on the said say will remember. You will not remember an uneventful walk yet you will remember that one walk when you met your old friend after ages.
I was sitting in class for a difficult Financial Management lecture, where I had after much struggle understood a theory and related concept, which I was able to apply to a given problem, yet my answer differed. Why? Because I, no, my mind had forgotten quite a basic concept.

All of us have childhood memories. Yet what we remember and what our parents will remember will always be different. Because the feelings associated with the memories are always going to be different.

I am sure my parents remember the first time I learnt to ride a bicycle. It was a moment of great pride for them. A smaller me, on my four wheeler bike riding away. I however, have no recollection of the same. I do however remember cycling and banging (yes, banging) into the compound wall and hurting myself quite badly – stitches and the works. The scar today is my moment of pride, proof that I was always the badass.

A girl in a relationship is accused of remembering things said maybe 10 months ago (or forever ago). However, she remembers things that made her feel a certain way and is holding to that feeling, the hurt, sadness, anger, happiness for an appropriate or as the case maybe inappropriate time to share. Sure, the men are left quite clueless, but that’s simply because the feelings towards that memory were quite neutral for the men! Not saying who is right, who is wrong, but isn’t it helpful to know why the memory stayed?

My mom has a fantastic memory. It has its own perks, however, none that I can think of. The unfortunate part, which I believe is for my mom is that she remembers all the bad stuff. Like a wise guy often tells me “A goalkeeper is never remembered for the goals he saves, but the ones he misses”. The not-so-great stuff about her life and all the feelings regarding that memory will compound and rollerball into something bigger than it is. Its quite unfortunate that a memory or many memories make her the person she is today – happy or sad.

I guess what I am trying to say is that perception to a situation results in a feeling to a situation, which then results in a memory and makes us. (I am so tempted to put the statement into an equation.) And over time as we keep revisiting the memory, our perception and feelings towards it change. And then we change.

Mind is a fickle thing. It tricks us into being happy and sad people. Proud or ashamed people. Content or discontent people.

Memories are not reliable. They shall fade and all that will be left will be the feeling that will linger and bother you.

And on this sullen note,

Je t’aime,

Madd Hatter

>:P